Connective Individualism: We Are All Under The Influence


I wanted to share the new blog that I have been working on over the past few months. It took me some time to hammer out the details, but the idea has been with me for the better part of a year.

Here’s a little excerpt from my first post. I hope you find time to visit my thoughts there from time to time and even feel inspired to include your own inspirations in life.





“Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by the accident of time, or place, or circumstances, are brought into closer connection with you.” – Aurelius Augustinus

In the last few years I had lost a large number of friends due to the changes that life brings (promotions, moving out of state, traveling abroad, and the most permanent change of all, death). I still kept in touch with these people on a semi-regular basis and knew the basics of how their lives were moving along, but I really missed the closeness of our collective friendships.

I could always count on seeing them on a weekly — if not daily — basis. We went on road trips and vacations together. We attended one another’s weddings and funerals. We cooked together and threw parties together. We wrote books together, played music together and loved each other unconditionally. We were a family.

As each person’s life grew and expanded, we grew farther apart, even though we all expressed nothing but good wishes and luck in the new endeavors. It seemed that geography would separate us on more than a physical level — it would separate us emotionally and spiritually. As time passed, however, I learned that distance could not take away our connection to one another. It would only change it and transform it into something new.

Yellow Butterfly

Change and transformation are something that humans run from every day. We set up routines in life so that we do not have to experience change. We try to put the inevitable on hold in a myriad of ways by recalling the perceived magnificence of youth rather than accepting our present state of being and wisdom, holding onto relationships or careers that no longer fulfill us, remaining stuck in a behavior or thought pattern that no longer match our current emotional state, and even refusing to better ourselves or create new goals for fear that we are unworthy of the greatness that might lay in store.

We are all caterpillars who refuse to become butterflies. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) for us, we have no choice in the matter. That is to be our fate. It’s sad to resist such a beautiful outcome, but we do it every day, and have done so since time immemorial.

While contemplating my perceived lost relationships, I realized that they were not really lost at all. They had simply transformed into something more beautiful and more real. These weren’t relationships that were to be short-lived and forgotten, or the opposite, life-long and stagnant. They were honest relationships that have proven to withstand everything that the world could throw at them and still come out swinging. They are champions.


2 responses »

  1. I can relate. Sometimes I find myself longing for the closeness of relationships I once had, but I’ve had to realize there’s a season for all things and people and different people serve different purposes in our lives. I am thankful for you 🙂

    • Thanks for the comment, Kayla. I’m thankful that our paths have crossed as well. You never know who you will come into contact with and how you will influence them. There are people I’ve only met in passing, or on a plane, or while standing in line at the grocery who will stick with me forever, just for one little thing they said or did.

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